It’s getting close to the end of May and here in the - officially - second sunniest region in France, we’ve barely seen the old boy put his hat on, as the old song goes.
I look out onto the deserted street outside, it being yet another public holiday here, and all I see is dreary and damp.
I shouldn’t complain, really, since my northern European complexion protests at the very thought of direct sunlight but I do prefer to take a coffee on the brightly lit, shady terrace of the café rather than huddled around a paraffin heater at the back of the shop.
Anyway, to business! Here is the latest from those denizens of yore, our friends from the fourteenth century.
Sorry about some of the text on these. It was all very experimental when I did these strips but today, I use a proper text function so that the dialogue is crystal clear and pin sharp. You can see how my new versions look if you go to my Webtoons page. My new, updated-for-smartphone versions haven’t quite reached this edition yet but I’m slaving away as all proper artists do, starving appropriately (see below) but not in a miserable garret, as ours was converted into luxury bedrooms some years back. I’m not sure I’m carrying off the idea of penury and isolation, am I?
Weight loss
Without giving away my actual weight, which would probably make Shrek flinch, I’ve managed to shed around four pounds - or two kilos - in less than a week.
Those of you who, like me, are fond of a drop of wine and highly motivated by such delights as cheese and pasta, will be immediately thinking “How does he do that?” And guess what: it’s very simple but inevitably, as boring as watching Formula One racing or endlessly cleaning the house.
It goes back to a video I watched on YouTube last autumn. This chap in the English midlands had challenged himself to eat only chicken and broccoli for a month in his quest to get some weight off. I couldn’t see his problem, myself, as he was only a little overweight to my eye but clearly, he had a poor image of himself or couldn’t afford bigger trousers; one or the other.
In effect, he had chicken for breakfast, very simply cooked, with a few florets of broccoli scattered about his plate and then, at lunch time, he would have some more. Dinner time would roll around each day and once again, he’d be forking chicken into himself, along with the obligatory greenery.
“I could never do that!” I hear you cry but I tell you truly, if it’s only for a short while, with, perhaps a nice meal at a restaurant at the end of it, and if you weigh yourself and keep wondering who else is on the scales with you, you’ll find that you can.
Just remember, you don’t have to do it for a whole month. A week sees four pounds come off my weight and I’m now heading into week two. On the horizon, I have fixed my attention on my birthday, a couple of weeks off, when we shall be heading to the delightful city of Perigieux, there to feast at the finest Indian restaurant in Christendom. I hope to have lost another four or five pounds by then and so will be able to stuff myself with top “bouffe”.
There is a drawback, of course, and that is that chicken is pretty expensive here in France. One of our circle recently moved back to England and the first thing he had to say about it was that almost everything costs about half what it does in France. I can say, too, from experience, that this is true in both Portugal and Spain. When we first got a house here, back in 2003, we thought ourselves millionaires, so cheap was everything but today, the only things more expensive in England are alcohol and houses. A chicken, for instance, will cost you around 8 euros and that’s a small one; enough for a meal for two. (Obviously, if you come here only on holiday or if you have a holiday home here (see below), none of this is very important. Houses cost a fraction of what they do back in England so you can sell your UK residence, buy a French one and live in calm and luxury on the profit. And don’t forget, good wine can be had for tiny sums of money, so for the oenophile, France is heaven!)
Yes, I know, this isn’t meant to be a post about the price of carrots, for goodness’ sake! That would be more boring than Formula One or cleaning the house. But it does illustrate that when taking up a régime like this, one must be prepared to pay a little more for a short while. And I have to say that I have already broken this up with some dinners featuring fish rather than chicken and on one glorious occasion, a salade niçoise! Both these options keep the weight loss rolling nicely and provide a little more variety. I suspect that the real secret is the clear absence of carbohydrates.
The chap who made the chicken and broccoli film for YouTube achieved his goal, by the way, which is great. The obligatory “after” shot of him wearing his now discarded old trousers, his hand grasping the waistline several centimeters from his now flattened abdomen attesting to his success. I haven’t added a link because if you go onto YouTube and search for “chicken and broccoli diet”, you will find options too numerous to count. You can also opt for the “paleo” diet, which is almost all about meat.
French Town House For Sale
Now, to something very important that may just be a great opportunity for you. We are moving back to England in the next year, so have put our house on the market.
It’s a four-bedroom town house about 100 metres from the café, shops and two local bakeries. The town has two supermarkets and two good restaurants. It’s a very pretty town, given the designations “Cité de caractère” and “Ville fleurie”. The neighbours are great, very helpful and kind and there is a strong network of English speakers here, too.
We had the whole place renovated a few years back, so everything works, the roof is in perfect order and there are two bathrooms, which we treat as “his and hers”. The courtyard is filled with daffodils in Larch, Bluebells in April and then a blaze of summer colours once the heat arrives.
The fact is that my wife has not settled here and if she isn’t happy, there’s nothing for it but to move to where she definitely will be. After all, she treats me like a king, so I will be happy wherever she wants to be!
We’ve made so many good friends here and I really enjoy the lifestyle but as my personal motto always says: “Happy wife; happy life”.
Take a look. It’s a super house and it’s priced to sell, as you will see.
At the end of this post, I won’t provide you with a specific link to any of my YouTube films; just the one that takes you to the home of my channel itself. It would be a joy for me to hear from you if you should become inspired by any of my films to start on the journey of cartoonery, or indeed, any kind of art.
There are two things in life - aside from bodily needs or functions - that give the greatest pleasure. In no particular order, they are art and music, either of which brings you joy.
I am very fortunate to be a practitioner of both. Imagine how happy that can make me.
Over to you..
PS. This is me at the moment..